Why ‘We’ Have Been Quiet


She walks around the house like a grown up. I’m not ‘needed’ as much. She can wake up, brush her teeth, make breakfast, read a book (She is currently hooked on the diaries of a whimpy kid) make her bed, clean her room. Let’s say she can spend a day without my instruction and opinion. I miss being asked ‘what should I wear?’ Ooh the good old days. Sometimes I force myself in and recommend what she should wear to church. Surprisingly, she obeys. That stage is done and we are in a new phase, the main reason why my articles have been taking longer to get to you. In fact she is now more inclined to her dad,yes, I am being sidelined after the restless nine months of walking with her around. ( Why do African mothers say this? Someone should talk to us)

This is where I start, my hands have been busy wifing and mothering but I did not forget to observe, learn and write some of my daily parenting experiences. This article would have come sooner but I was thinking of ways of saying, ‘when some children grow up, it can become a little bit boring’ without sounding like my baby is now boring. She is turning twelve this year. Officially becoming a pre teen. Looking at her, am a happy proud mother. She is probably going to read this:I have to be clear, she is never boring. She is a grown up now. Can pronounce words correctly. I have accepted that she is ‘full’ and as they say, her wings work. Its time for her to fly. As painful as it may be, its time to back off a little. ( That’s for her to feel good, African mothers never back off)

So with this stage, I have to be careful about what I share about her. We can laugh at her dramas when she was three, four, nine or even ten. But at this age, she is very conscious about what I tell people about her, and you guys caused all this. Some of you meet her and tell her, we read everything about you. Some of you are her teachers, and bring it up in school. One teacher asked her about her favourite yellow sweater! So from today, she will be vetting what I post, together with her dad. So I have to respect that. She now has back up! A very strong back up. Someone she can run to and tell on me. Someone who takes her opinions very seriously! So I have already been told I cannot write about boyfriends, ( who I believe do not exist as we speak) I cannot take photos of her school work, I cannot take photos of her and post without her consent. (We are still debating on this) so yes, I have been busy wondering what’s left to write about. Wait, she also says that I should never filter her photos because she is already beautiful. Now you know what I have been going through.

Before the vetting begins, I have to let you know that we are at that stage where she is less dramatic, thinks that am so old school, thinks I have no clue of what life is and that her generation rules the universe. So I sometimes behave like a fool to fool her when she thinks she is fooling me. Looking at her now, I see no baby. She is reasoning, making decisions and having strong opinions about things that matter to her. I was used to making all decisions about her. But I have to respect my child’s privacy. I may be passionate about parenting, but not at the expense of her comfort and privacy. She has a great sense of humour, so the juicy parts will still be there. She doesn’t need to know everything I tell you, so when you meet her just smile. Stop narrating the blogs to her.She has no access. That way, after her editing and approval I get to re edit. It’s a ‘win-win’ situation. Our own little handshake! Worry not, parenting a preteen is becoming the second best part of my life. Of course, the best part is walking around the house picking socks. 

I have a feeling that things are going to be more interesting than before, as we all play our part in making sure she has no idea what we share here. Well, no matter what rules are made, I am still the mother. An African mother. ‘Lets respect her wishes’ *Wink*



2 thoughts on “Why ‘We’ Have Been Quiet

  1. Oh wow!
    Truly, we’ve grown up! Watching her, and even talking to her, one can feel the maturity levels escalating by the day.
    You remain an amazing typical African mother to Shar!

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