If you want to scare and baffle my daughter, inform her that I removed my wedding ring for a few seconds. She believes that the ring should be permanent and never come out under any circumstances. You should actually see her shocked face. With her hands covering her mouth. Followed by ‘I will tell on you’ it sounds so serious especially when said in Swahili. ‘Nitakusema’ She then proceeds to tell her father, hoping to land me in great trouble. Like I have broken a vow. Just the way they do it in class. It fascinates me.
One day while on a taxi I removed the ring, while playing with it, nothing serious. Wait, let me describe the context, the cab driver had some beautiful playlist. Some of my old school favorite love songs, I was singing along confidently and happily. I had no idea that she was observing and taking notes. That evening she gave a report that I removed my ring and started singing love songs to the taxi driver, she added that I sounded like I am in love. We spent the rest of the evening discussing the phrase ‘she looked like she is in love’ how do people who are in love look like? It was hilarious.
That was not the only episode, any time she sees me play around with the ring she gives me this stern look. Once I was checking my finger to confirm it was on, and she asked if I had removed earlier, so that she gets something to report about. My husband gets some of this reports in secret. Some are laughable, others wanting, others funny but we treat them all as important. There have been so many cases already till I had to write about it. All I know is that, whatever I do, that seems wrong in Sharlines eyes gets to Jackson. It makes me very careful. But opens a door for us to know her view on marriage and throw in some lessons for her.
Knowing that she esteems the wedding ring and believes it is never to come out, makes me a proud mother. I have told her its more than the ring, the vows we made during the wedding is what we should guard even more. Children should be taught this values, they should know why people get married. We should not wait until someone is engaged so that we call them for meetings, feeding them with dos and donts. There are things we can tell them while young, then there are things they need to watch and see. I saw my mum being a great wife, the way she treats my father up to now is exceptional.
With this ring drama that is happening in my family, I have become more deliberate on what I am passing on to Sharline. She is watching, taking notes, telling on me and chances are she will emulate. Dear parents, keep talking to the young ones on marriage values, both boys and girls. But above talking., keep doing the right thing as they are learning from you.