The girl is all grown now, and she doesn’t allow me to call me her ‘baby’ any more. So the holidays are here and I am having a great time doing stuff together with this chipmunk. The fun and laughter, ups and downs come with responsibilities. Being a working mother who sometimes leaves work very late, I used to feel like I should pamper her, do everything for her and buy her stuff to cover for my absence. She never complained. Then one of my mentors warned me that the road am taking is tragic. I’m making her a spoilt little brat! (I hope she doesn’t edit this out now that she approves what I write about her) So the holidays have come with responsibility!
The other day, I had done a lot of house chores, was feeling so tired and looking at her with her feet raised on the sofa, I thought we should be together in this, we both live here. She should be more involved in cleaning. So I added the sink as part of her chores. To be done the following day. I was just tasting the waters to see if she will throw tantrums. To my surprise the little woman was so happy, she couldn’t wait for the next day, she asked for the soap and scrubber, rolled up her sleeves and started working. She chose to clean before going to sleep. Who is this girl? Whom does she take after? Who wants to clean a sink at night?
I stood there watching with a smile, then realized she was doing it wrong. I took the scrubber from her and started showing her how it is done, I scrubbed that sink inside out, showed her how to remove every stain, how to make it shiny and how to rinse. I even went further to clean the mirror and the floor underneath. I felt so nice, like the best mentor in the world, like we are excited about work, my daughter is hardworking, she is cleaning the sink at night! what else do I want in this life?
It is when I asked her if is she had learnt, that I realized the girl is beside me taking selfies, making different faces and feeling so sweet. She then says ‘ You took over and you were enjoying it, I just let you do it, but yes, I have learnt’ So, I had done her work for her in the name of ‘teaching her how it is done’. She later confessed that it was not the first time, that I have cleaned her room, spread her bed, swept and even washed dishes in the name of ‘directing her’. She even knows, that every time I add her extra work, I always do it myself. Apparently, she learnt from a program she watches, where the children pretend not to know how, and the mother takes over.
I stood there wondering who was older. But with the biggest lesson ever. After giving chores, I go away and come back to inspect. This holidays this beauty queen is in for real work. The only way she will learn is by doing it herself. I dint know how to do all this at once it is a process, so I need to allow her go through the process.
The children have many plans for this holidays, some want to watch TV, sleep, eat and play. As a guardian it is important that you give them responsibilities, and activities that will build them up. They wont learn if we do everything for them. Let us raise a generation of responsible, proactive, hardworking men and women who will take this nation to greater heights. Knowing that the responsibility belongs to them. It begins now.