Thirteen: Not Just a Number

#TreasuredTruth 109Of366 #RawderKidulaKedaha

We often find ourselves in situations that block us from having any hope for tomorrow. They make us lose confidence in ourselves and in God. Maybe you are completely broke, you cannot see a way out of the debts you have. Maybe you have lost all hope of getting married someday, you look at your age and the situations around you, it seems impossible. Maybe your businesses keep dwindling, there’s nothing to write home about after years of investments, maybe friendships and relationships even within the family are not working, or could it be your marriage, a cloud of despair has overtaken your happily ever after and there’s no reason to smile. This is specifically for you who is looking at the situation around you and you don’t see how things could get better. Tears and sorrow are the order of the day. Yes, this is for you.

Over thirteen years ago, I was in a pit, a pit of emptiness, loneliness, regret and frustration. I was a pregnant teenager who had thrown all her future away – in the words of everyone who saw me in that season. I tasted my own tears every night. If you asked me about my future plans I would stare at you blankly because I had none, I knew that my life had come to a halt. There was completely no hope for tomorrow. Many times I wanted to die. Those days getting pregnant outside wedlock was a huge sin (it still is, but today it is, in most cases, not treated so.) I couldn’t look at my parents in the eye as much as they were very supportive. I saw myself as a village failure, part of the statistics of young girls who were doing so well but made wrong decisions in life. That was a dark season for me. Even after giving my life to Jesus, some Bible verses did not make sense. I never knew I would one day sit on my bed and write about it with a smile on my face. I wish I could write every detail of what I went through till now, but not today.

My faith was weak; I had little knowledge about salvation and even on who God is. I had never spoken in tongues or even read a whole chapter in the Bible. I had never fasted or gone for a kesha. I did not know how to pray.   Many time I allowed satan to condemn me, to remind me how dirty I was, how I have disappointed my entire clan, how nothing good will ever come out of that situation. BUT GOD answered a simple prayer I made all the time, I don’t remember saying it loud or even writing it down. I never shared with anyone about my secret desires. All I was asking God was to restore joy in my heart. In the midst of chaos and confusion, I kept whispering my desires to God. Truth be told: Some of them were laughable, they seemed very impossible.

Today is our daughter’s birthday. She turns thirteen. My husband and I are overwhelmed with joy. I look at her and all I can see is a God who makes way where there seems to be no way. I see a God who is our ever present help in times of need. I see a God who restores and resurrects dead situations. I see a God who hears and answers prayers. I see a God who does things that seem so impossible in the eyes of men. I see a God who keeps His word. I see a God who is not intimidated by how low we stoop, or how deep we sink, His love endures forever. He brought me out of miry clay and turned my mourning into dancing.

It has not always been easy and smiles throughout, but my confidence was restored. I look at current situations in my life which seem impossible and I smile, because I know that my God is bigger. God opened a door for me to continue with my education, God opened a door for a job, God gave me a husband, and He led me to a ministry I never thought I could fit in. This God is real. It did not happen instantly, I have a story behind every breakthrough. I am still not the strongest Christian, I am not the expert, I am not the most righteous. But I have leant to trust in a God who is all that: Strong, powerful. faithful, holy, mighty, restorer, redeemer and much more. He is the way the truth and the life.

In that predicament that you are in right now, don’t give up hope. As painful and complicated as it is, no one understands you, no one seems to care, there’s no one to call. My friend, God is real. He understands your situation and feels your pain. He will make a way. He is bigger than your situation.

Today, I am praying for you.


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7 thoughts on “Thirteen: Not Just a Number

  1. Thanks for the encouraging us . I trust that one day God will give me such a testimony, its not easy to Wait on God especially for a life partner even in your 30s in this world full of alternatives you look like a big fool but thanks this post keep me going.

  2. The day I think hope rekindled in my life I was from church, Parkie and seemingly the prayers done in church were not enough, in my heart I prayed God save me from me.
    Thanks for encouraging us Rawder.

  3. Am in tears while reading this text coz its not just any other text you will get to read
    Av always aloud the devil to condem me in so many way thinking that I am nothing
    But what gives me hope is the little faith I have in my living Godthat all will be in the past
    Plz pray with me my education is pending I pray to be a minister of the word one day and encourage a girl out there
    Walk down the isle and I pray to God that you Mrs.kedaha(my mentor)will be among the witnesses
    Happiest birthday to her(tanasha kedaha)
    God bless

  4. I’m encouraged mum
    My hope for the ? I can see now…
    I’m in that step too.. Where I’m low spiritually I feel.. Nothing is happening around ?but you have encouraged me have seen a better future

  5. Thank you for your encouragement. I enjoy reading your blogs or watching your youtube channel on my study breaks. Thank you

  6. Woooow. Thanks so much Rhoda for this. I heard of your story and I felt like kumbe I’ve not gone through life yet. You’re such a great blessing to me Rhoda. More grace

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