#TreasuredTruth #18Of366 #RawderKidulaKedaha
Anytime we would be in a mall with any of my friends, they would notice that my eyes only saw children’s stuff. I would get into baby shops, look at thinks I can’t afford, touch them, imagine my daughter on them, then lie that I would come back later. Not once nor twice, my friends pointed that out. I would go to the market to buy my school stuff, but end up coming back with clothes for my daughter. Not that she was naked where she was, but because I wanted to make her happy and comfortable always. As a mother, I wanted to be her everything. Her peace, her joy, her shoulder to lean on, her medicine, her antidote. Her everything. I never wanted to see her cry or frustrated. I wanted her to have the best of everything. Even when it cost me my own happiness, my own life. I wanted to be her source.
Years later, she was all grown, happily going to school and I kept thinking, we have done a great job taking care of this child, she is happy and has everything she needs. One night she fell sick and came to my room saying she can’t breathe! What do you mean you can’t breathe? What is going on? We rushed to hospital and within no time she was better and we went back home. That night I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to check on her every minute, It was devastating thinking about the worst that could have happened and asking myself what if it happened again? What if she couldn’t find the strength to come wake me up? What if we did not find a means to hospital? What if?
Those endless questions taught me a great lesson. That no matter how much you love someone, you are not the giver of their life. They can live without you. They can die while you are holding them. The best thing is to do your part by putting them in God’s hands. Yes, God is in charge. He says He never abandons the work of His hands, and we are the work of His Hands. Your children are His. Your spouse is His. Your family is His. Your job is His. Never think that anyone will die without you. Never elevate yourself to be in charge of lives. You are not in charge of peace, of joy, of mercy, of life. God is. So if you love someone, you will let God take control.
It was a hard pill for me to swallow, but got me out of some prison I was in. It is freeing knowing that my God is also her God. The God who sustains me, will also sustain her, He doesn’t sustain me so that I sustain her. The God who provides for me, will provide for Her. The God who protects me will protect her. So if I love her, I should point her to the source, I should let the source be in charge. All those years, it was never me taking charge of her. It was all God.
I urge you therefore, do not elevate yourself into a god. Don’t give yourself God’s responsibilities. Don’t beat yourself up. There are things you should do, your role. Then let God be God. He is good at being God. He is our all in all.
Isaiah 45:12 “It is I who made the earth, and created man upon it I stretched out the heavens with My hands And I ordained all their host.’