I will Never Have a Boyfriend!


‘Never’ is a strong word my girl! Please don’t declare things right now, life has just began.’ Sometimes I wish I had a way of recording this young lady’s conversations. She is a typical 10-year-old, the questions have become less, after being replaced by her opinions on everything. So she now swears that she will never have a boyfriends, dating is disgusting!

When I was her age, someone told me about menstruation. I was so mad. I knew it was a lie, a woman cannot bleed for no reason every month. It was so dirty and messy in my mind. I made a vow that I will never menstruate. Little did I know, that missing menses is a crisis. Look at me now, going through the process without complaining.  So as I look at this girl, I smile, let her wish and vow, a time will come, and is coming fast when she will be smiling to herself like a lunatic, thinking of some boy.

How did this conversation begin? I was trying to talk to her but she was busy on her phone. I knew she must be playing games, but I just wanted her attention. So I asked ‘ who is that boy you are chatting with?’ The girl put the phone away and started ranting, ‘Boy? Which boy? I don’t ask boys for their numbers and I don’t give boys my number? How can I chat with a boy?’ I smiled within me, I had all the attention, and now that we have started talking about boys, why don’t we just finish.

I went ahead, ‘So you don’t have a boyfriend?’ Her eyes lit up, staring at me like I had said a forbidden word. ‘No, Never! I will never have a boyfriend. I don’t even want to talk about that, it will never happen’. She was so confident about it. She said she has so much to do with her life, like education  and getting a job, she doesn’t think she will have time for a boyfriend. ‘Okay, young girl, Will you get married?’ At this point, she was charged up, looking for the right words to say, and on the issue of marriage she hesitated a little then said, ‘I don’t know, maybe’ ( I exhaled, the little voice in my head that looks forward to seeing her bloom into a woman, and then make a good wife was settled)

We continued talking about boyfriends and marriage, I needed her to know that having a boyfriend is not sin. It’s not the worst that can happen to a girl! God created us to have  relationships and glorify Him in them. But what mattered was the timing, that at the right time, when she is of age, she will have a boyfriend, and have a relationship leading to marriage. I also made it clear that dating should be pure before God. She gave me her full attention and before I knew it, we had covered everything on sexuality, dating and marriage. We even did some practicals!

I’m always so fulfilled when I play my part. Knowing that I have a responsibility and I’m accountable to God. It is very important for your child to get the truth from you. When an opportunity presents itself, maximize on it and direct them on the right path. But don’t wait for the opportunity, you are allowed to create time for this, and make sure you impact them with values that will grow them into responsible adults. If you don’t, someone else will, and you never know what ‘someone else’ believes.


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