#TreasuredTruth #72Of366 #RawderKidulaKedaha
God did not understand me at all. He allowed me to cry night after night. He saw me broken and did nothing! I was in love and wanted things to work out so that I get married and we live happily ever after. God knew exactly what I felt, He knew what a good girlfriend I would make, but why did he allow me to suffer rejection? Loving and not being loved back? I prayed and fasted, hoping for that text message, that call. All I wanted to hear was ‘I love you too’. But I got nothing. . In fact, the more I prayed and asked God for this relationship to work, the more He said NO’. It was clear. But my heart was in love. I still believed and hoped for a miracle. I quoted scripture, tithed, fasted, attended keshas, but God said no. I was left wondering if he really does care.
I gave up on relationships. I knew it was not my cup of tea, after all, God has allowed me to suffer in pain. I kept serving God faithfully, with my mind, heart and soul striving to please Him. I had learnt the pain of disobeying God. When He says no, I should not push it because somehow He was always right. When my husband came along, I was not interested in a relationship, but God said ‘YES’ almost immediately. I never knew that the casual friendship would lead to marriage. Now that I am married, one of the main reason I thank God every day is for saying ‘No’ in the past. He did not want to hurt me but to rescue me. He knew that I was still hurting, that I wanted to be in relationships for the wrong reasons. He knew what a disaster that would have been. With what I know about marriage now, the truth is that I could not handle it ten years ago. So, once again ‘Thank you Lord for saying no’
Has God ‘refused’ to give you what you want? Are you wondering why it happened? Maybe you are even mad at God right now, or trying to work your way into miracles: Thinking that if you pray for longer or fast for more days God will change His mind. My friend, God loves you; that is why he closed that door. He knows exactly what you need and when you need it. He has a plan and purpose for you and knows the exact steps you should take to get to where you need to be. In your human eyes and with your human mind, things may seem right. But God is wiser, His ways are greater. Look at the past, the number of times He has rescued you. Maybe you don’t understand why God did not open that door, one day you will. Some day you will thank Him for saying no. His ‘no’ does not mean He does not care, It means He cares so much and wants the best for you.
So, praise God when He says yes, praise Him when He says wait and praise Him when He says no. He knows what He is doing. When it is painful and discouraging, remember what God told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, when he cried about the thorn in his flesh. God said “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” You need to boast all the more gladly about your weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on you. For when you are weak, then you are strong.