I wasn’t having sex because I wanted to. But because I needed to. So I had to do it. With as many men as could pay. Don’t look at me like that, I have a life that needs to be sustained. I needed money. Yes, I am saved, I go to church I even serve and preach the word, I have gone to school, I have the papers, I have the skills, but there are no jobs. So yes, that was the only option I had. So in the day, especially on Sunday, I dressed and looked the part. Church trained me to pretend, because I saw my clients lifting their hands in the sanctuary too. I knew what to say during the day to look ‘saved’ and used the same lips to seduce men at night.
When I stood at my usual streets during the night, people looked at me calling me a prostitute, they were right, but I hated that name. I wish they understood my struggle. Did they think I could risk my life,my reputation, my health for fun? Did they think I loved doing this? Some called me a sinner, judged me so harshly. But they had no evidence to convict me. I played safe, I took the correct pills. You know, I was only doing it for a short period of time till I get a stable job. I slept with high-profile men. In the government. In church. Rich business men, and during desperate times I didn’t mind the ‘others’ as long as they paid something. I managed to put bread on the table, but my life was miserable.
Well, they say you cannot hide forever. One night as I was busy servicing one of my clients. (No matter how curious you get. I won’t mention the names of the men I slept with. In any case, no one was after them, they are men. The woman is the dirty one.) So here we are, am doing my best just to finish my task and get my money. Then the doors burst open. It was the wife!!! She threw herself on me and started beating me up. My client was busy dressing up and left. I was almost beaten to death, thank God for the police, they rescued me, and took me to jail.
Word went round, ‘she has been caught in the act’. I was trending on social media, of course with the name of the church I fellowship at. People wrote articles about me, videos of my beating went viral. That was the end of my life. I knew the judge would imprison me for years. I deserved to be killed. How could I walk back to the world. would I ever lift my face again?
So the judge appeared and looked at me, I covered my face, just in case someone threw a stone on my face. The court room was roaring with anger. I was the reason for broken marriages, I was the black sheep in their perfect world. Ladies had been stoned to death for prostitution, I knew my fate. Finally, the judge stood up. He had the final say. He looked at the crowd and said ‘If any of you have never sinned, then go ahead and throw the first stone at her!” What? What did he just say? wasn’t he supposed to address me?
Slowly, people started leaving, I lifted my head and saw some of my clients leaving. This was shocking! He then turned to me and said ‘No one is left to condemn you. I don’t condemn you either, Go and sin no more’.
Maybe you feel filthy, dirty, the world looks at you and condemns you. You have let sin overshadow Gods love for you. Be assured that God does not condemn you. He loves you and wants you to live for Him. Find peace in knowing that even if the world has branded you negatively, God is able to make you new again. (John 8:8-11)